I spent some time away with my family this week out of town. We were invited by my parents to go with them to the beach, and we had a wonderful time. One of my goals this week was to get alone to do some writing. That didn’t happen. There’s a little 1 year old girl that took up a lot of my time :). Also, I blame a lot of my laziness this week on the Olympics. Why do anything productive when you can watch people who have worked hard for years do it on live TV?
This was the attitude I kept until the other night. Track and field was on, and there was a man from South Africa named Oscar Pistorius. Not your average Olympian. One would take a glance at him, and label him as “disabled”, or “unable”, even. One glance at him, and most would write him off as not adding up to much as far as modern society’s standard is concerned, much less being an athlete, and even more, being an Olympic athlete. I watched him line up to run in a race. He finished last. I listened to his post-race interview, and his goal? To make it to this stage to prove he was capable of competing with able bodied athletes. He finished last, but there was a cemented smile on his face that a crowbar couldn’t remove.
I think God hides inspiration in unexpected places for us to stumble upon sometimes. I watched that race, and forgot about the complaints I had for God that week. I’ll be honest, I was at a major low this week. I had no direction, no callbacks, no interview requests, no singing dates booked, no prospect of a job anytime soon. I felt worthless, I felt helpless, I felt like I literally had NOTHING to offer society in return for a paycheck to take care of my family. I put a smile on and tried to have fun, but inside I was eaten up with bitterness, and self-pity. But then that stupid race came on…and put a real smile on. I spent time with my little girl, I loved on her, she loved on me, and I picked my sorry self up off of the ground. I know there is a plan at work. I know God is for me, and not against me. He’s in my corner, but sometimes I drift away from my own corner that I’m supposed to be in, so it feels like a million miles away from where I’m supposed to be.
I don’t have a job yet. I have a calling. Music. Would I love for the two to combine one day? Of course I would. What can I rest in? The fact that God knows my situation. In fact, he physically has been in my own situation. In the book of Luke, Christ tells his disciples that He had no place to even sleep that night. God knows my situation, because He allowed it to happen. The only way He can permit it is if He is in control, and I believe with all my being that He is. This is not a mindset, it is a fact. So, while from time to time I find myself in a pool of self-pity, there’s a plan at work that will turn this test…into a testimony. Wait and see. Take a lesson from the Olympics and become resiliant in your faith, determined to show God’s work in your life, and dedicated to do what God has called you to. It’s not how you start. It’s not how you may even stumble some in the middle, like me. It’s how you finish. I want to give it all I’ve got.
mattbakermusic 